Life, Love and Peace

Life is changing fast these days with the economy still struggling like the little engine that could. The news has become something we want to hear, but not really. What we really need, is more love and more peace.

A childhood friend of mine lost her dad the other day and it reminded me once again, that we love is everlasting. My dad's been gone for many years now, and yet his love I cling to and feel it close to me so much. His birthday a few weeks ago, he would have been 70. That's so hard to believe and I wonder what he would have been like at 70? Still funny, generous, silly, and tough. He'd be asking me a lot of questions right now and urging me to always, give more, love more, be and enjoy more - find the passion of life. That was dad. And when you lose a parent, their inner core seems to be left with us, probably from all those years of teaching. I thought of my friend's dad, I remember him when I was very little always with a big big smile on his face, and working around the yard, i remember how much he loved his family, he was a true family man.

If life is changing fast but the goal of life is to be the best person you can everyday, and for me, serving others helping them achieve goals and reach for their own gold star, then why the need for peace and love too?

That's what we leave our family with. The love we shared, the joy and encouragement we were and are, what we give, we leave behind. Patrick Swayze has left behind a long and lasting love. His soul mate, his wife, will feel him all the days of her life. He was a model for commitment to true love, inner goodness, and who doesn't want that as their legacy on this earth.

I pray I can leave this place and those I've encountered with more love and peace than they had before. I wish gold stars for all of us, and a life of, well, all the peace and joy you can muster.

Peace

What Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson Taught Us

Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson both died on the same day; two very different lives with a common lesson about life.

For Michael , his song "Childhood" he says is his autobiography and in that song he says he has spent his life compensating. The Childhood song is truly amazing... "Have you seen my Childhood," He asks. "No one understands me, people say I'm not ok because I love .. adventurous dreams,"..." it is my fate to compensate for the Child I've never known." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVJscGa5vbc.

It's a sad sad song, but a song full of lessons as well. It was not his fate to compensate, nor is it any of ours. It is our calling to all overcome what things we lost in our childhood. I outta know; like many other, my childhood was sad, lonely and flat-out painful. But, there are many people who would agree they missed out on a few things from their childhood. After all, our parents are only themselves people who lost something too. I have a long laundry list of things that were not what one would want to happen to a child. But, I could not be the person I am today were it not for the childhood I had. I must and do accept all the good with all the bad and am grateful for what those experiences molded in me.

I guess I'm upset that Michael Jackson spent most of his adult life not being able to see how blessed he was. He had so much at his fingertips, more than most of could even imagine. He had talent that was and is and probably will always be, stunning. He had a voice that was clear, crisp, distinct and could hit seemingly any note. He could move his body in ways no one has been able to copy. His talent is rare and undeniable. But Michael was filled with sadness he said of all the emotions he had, sadness was his constant companion because he lost his childhood and because of his well-reported feelings about his dad's treatment of them in order to get them to perform better. And maybe something else happened too. Even though we can understand the sad things that happened, it's hard to understand how he couldn't find a way to overcome rather than compensate. He threw away the gift he was to the world because he believed his fate was to compensate to try and make up for what he lost instead of standing in the glory of all he accomplished and the gifts he shared with all of us.

Farrah Fawcett on the other hand, overcame her struggles to focus on a single word: Love. Love she said, was all that really mattered. Her friends say the loss of her love will be devastating to them and there is a chorus of friends who say she loved them wholly, completely and utterly raw. Ryan, we've all heard, aches loudly for the amount of love they shared and for which he anguishes at the thought of living without. What was it about Farrah that we were drawn to? Her smile, her silliness, her ability to be confident in knowing what she wanted, or her willingness to follow her passion no matter what the world thought of her. She didn't have a perfect childhood either, but she loved her parents and was close to her father.

We can take an important lesson from them both to love no matter what. There is never enough love but always enough criticism. We fail the world and ourselves when we fail to help those with hurting souls, especially those hurting so obviously as Michael. We should leave this world with our friends and family aching for the love they will miss from us, not the anguish of what we threw away. We should live life to love's fullest moments. And whatever our talent may be, share it. The world is a better place for sharing what we have to give whatever that gift is, it matters. I will miss Michael's music, I think the world is quieter now. We will never again get the chance to see him light up the stage in the way only he could; we'll never get to watch him do things no one else, no other person can do. We have lost that.

We have also lost the example of a woman who loved until the last moment of her life, who gave all of herself in fighting to overcome her tribulations, who gave every ounce to being a good soul.

I am sad that Michael spent his life compensating because you can never reclaim a lost childhood, I know. All we can do is appreciate what lessons our life has taught us, share those ideas with others, and reach out and love others unconditionally and know, but there, for the grace of God go I...

Live a life of love will you? Someone is waiting to receive all you have to love.

Much love

Oh and yes, Michael taught us one more powerful lesson.... play with your kids, make sure they enjoy their childhood, it matters; our childhoods do matter.

Summertime

Have you ever been so busy time really does speed by? It's hard to realize that summer is hear, I already am looking forward to winter. I so love the snow in Tahoe; it's my favorite time. Then summer comes and all the leaves are popping out and wild flowers are everywhere. We take these long walks with the dogs several times a week and noticed last week these little tiny red tops poking out of the dirt here and there. Two days later they were inches high and then again later that week, whosh! They were 6-7 inches out of the dirt; bright red. Very bright red. Now the walk is full of colors in bloom and the beauty is quite remarkable. Watching the wild flowers and color plants grow before you reminds us of the meaning of slowing down to notice. To soak it all in, that life is fragile, special, and to be enjoyed and cherished. Especially in these times.

When we get 1/2 way in our walk there is a place the dogs can roll around in the grass and drink, they now get excited the closer we get that spot. Do they really know that is the playtime spot? It's cute for sure. Their trainer tells us to carry treats with us at all times which helps in teaching them to walk closely and listen. We end up with hands that smell like dog food but the dogs do enjoy the treats. Just the word "treat" and they twirl around and plop! sit. I think they smile : ) too. you decide.

Sometimes Brody takes Mo for a walk. Kinda... When Brody was a pup, Dustin taught him to carry his own leash, which is cute, but getting him out of that habit has been tough. One day, Mo's leash dropped, Brody picked it up and off they went, Brody pulling Mo. We grabbed our camera and shot a short video of them doing it again, but it doesn't upload for some reason. It's so funny.

Now that summer is really here and the snow is all gone (only in the last few weeks), we're looking forward to it all. The kids will be up for a bit and us there as well. I hope the town is swamped with tourists so local businesses have a good season. There is always fantastic things to do here in addition to experiencing the most beautiful lake in the world. It's a great place to relax, to slow down, talk long walks along the water or in the forest, and try not to worry too much about everything going on in the world. It'll be ok.

Spring is in the air, but it's all covered in snow

gosh, time is flying by again. It's good to be busy busy, feeling grateful for the work and being here in Tahoe. We had a lot of snow last weekend, it was a surprise snow. The forecast was for 'some' but we got about 2 feet at the house and of course, Brody went crazy. That boy loves the snow, rolling on his back with his feet kicking in the air, he just loves it. Mo likes it too, he's just not as silly about it. It was a fun snow day. We love the snow so much, but it's time for spring. With all the snow we got this year, we still have 3 to 5 feet of packed ice-like snow in the front yard, completely covering the patio up to the rails. So, we're taking bets, how long with the snow last? End of May I think.

We've both been busy with our jobs, looking for ways to constantly diversify these days. How to tweak what you do into another business venture to have more than one source of income. There are several new businesses in town that are doing well and when you step back and look, it's all about their customer service. We've noticed others are offering new ideas, new sales, new specials combined with other places. People are being creative.

Spring is that hopeful time, I like that time of year too. Flower-planting and repainting and getting out in the fresh air. We hear more birds lately, it's cute cuz the dogs bark at them when the fly low. And with kids moving and growing up so much (well, hardly kid-age anymore, but will always be kids to me), things seem on-the-move. Time to catch that train...

Snowy Valentines

A friend and I were discussing the value of creating a specific day that is really dedicated to guys going out and getting 'stuff' to tell us how much they love us, how special we are or whatever right? Ok, so we get that the date is made up, created by card companies to sell things and all of that, but it still bites if for some reason we all don't follow through. I talked to another friend who said, "flowers and candy," and another "he brought over a couple of candles and offered to take me out," another "he picked up some things at the grocery store," but you know, they all appreciated everything. No matter what the effort was, it still matters he picked up something and brought it home to say, "honey? does this convey my love?" and she says, yes ...

Howie, as usual, had to add some silly goofy things into the mix. From a balloon that played silly music, to goofy cards. The dinner, red roses and red wine were all very sweet. Oh and so was spending the day cuddled up with a roaring fire as the snow fell. Running around playing in snow and was so much fun - Brody and Mo just love the stuff. It was a nice weekend after all.

So, okay, bring on the love-holiday, anytime. In the midst of all that's going on in the world, a day, a weekend where so many are focused on love, well that's a good thing. Love of family, kids, parents, relatives, all love is good.

No news is good news.

No news... Howie and I decided to have an entire weekend with no news. Nothing. We basically kept the TV off, kept the fire roaring and focused on what our world was - the snow fell like crazy, which the dogs love and gosh they are so funny, rolling and playing the snow. Brody's whiskers were covered in snow because he loves to roll around in it. It was fun to keep the living room dark except the fire, and candles and warm cocoa. No news, was good news. It's supposed to snow for the next 10 days, we LOVE that ! Our favorite time is the snowing especially because it means the fireplace is so cozy. It was much more fun chatting and not hearing about all the worrisome stuff going on. Come Monday there goes the news again. I wish federal government would just make a decision. I don't like the idea of all the spending anymore than anyone else probably does, but it's better than doing nothing while 1000s of people lose their jobs. It affects all of us, except maybe those in Washington apparently. With so many people getting a new job there with a new administration maybe they don't see what's happening. Just do something, get some jobs going. Can't wait for another no news weekend.

After the Holidays

The holidays are over, which is a bummer, I wish those days could last longer. They go too fast. We went to San Diego to celebrate Christmas with the kids, well not really "kids" anymore at nearly 30 and 27 (yikes!) and we brought the boys (Mo and Bro) with us. It was a fun trip, got caught in the snow on the way back , which was totally fun. What wasn't so fun was Howie nearly running out of gas... say what? Yeah, we forgot to fill up in Mammoth where we stopped for lunch and then, well... no gas until the little town of Breverton or something like that. But, he showed me how to trust he'd make it, he says he learned how to fly on fumes when he was on the road a lot. After than, Howie's mom came up for a couple of weeks after. Now it's onto celebrating a new year. I sure hope 2009 is a year of recovery and rebuilding for all of us. A dear friend of mine from San Diego recently told me that and it sticks with me, yes, this is the year of recovery and rebuilding.

So many people in tough times, it's really worrisome. It's also hard to hear and see some people who are completely unable to appreciate how lucky they are when they don't fear layoffs or losing their homes. It's surprising to me the lack of compassion among those who have secure jobs, are they so far removed from valuing those who gave them a break and opened doors for them that they have lost the true nature of human kindness? Is there really a secure job these days anyway? I ache for anyone struggling right now and I hope those who lack compassion won't have to lose their job to gain understanding. I hope the new president is right in his prediction he can create 4 million new jobs with the public works rebuilding program he has mentioned. That could turn things around. Of course, we'll be paying a lot more for all of this over the years but if folks were back to work, paying for that would be worth it in the end. Not too many other choices.

Brody is getting huge now, he's got his head on my lap while I'm writing, a bit distracting, he's too cute. He must be 100 pounds, he's much bigger than Mo and Mo still doesn't like it when we come home if he is not the first one hugged and kissed so we hug them at the same time. They both jump up on the bed and sleep with us, which leaves little room for us sometimes. They sneak up in the night, when we wake up in the morning, they are snoring just like papa Howie. Brody is really a San Diego dog, but he's adapted to mountain/snow living.

I miss San Diego more and more but I also love this area; Tahoe is a really special place to live and work. It's mountain living and small town where you know most of the people. The whole town pours themselves out for those in need. When one of last year's fallen soldiers was from here, the entire town reached out and wrapped their arms around his mom. Just the other day, Howie and I stopped by and visited with her, Howie brought her a flag he had got in Iraq, which had been flown over Badgad in honor of his son and it comes with a certificate to acknowledge that event and her loss. There can be nothing so painful as losing a child I'm sure. She spent a lot of time when we were there the other day showing her son's room to us, and all of his awards and medals. My heart was so heavy, if only her loss had not happened.

Which reminds me again, to care about all those who I have ever known and wish the best for them. I pray this year things in our country can turn around. And I hope the slide begins to halt, that each of us will help one another, be the support we need when we're struggling and celebrate together at each little victory. I hope to make a difference in my job and find new innovative and creative solutions to providing service.

I hope for you that 2009 brings something fantastic into your world and that you know the difference you make in the world.

Many blessings

Happy Holidays!

Happy Happy Holidays 2008. Wow, time flies a wee bit too fast I'd say. Here we are in San Francisco for my birthday recently. Howie surprised me with a day in the City, he only told me we had to leave by about 5:30 and didn't say anything else. Once we got to Sac, he got off the freeway and drove thru old town to get coffee and try and divert me from guessing where we were going.... silly boy. We ended up arriving in time to enjoy the morning in the City and then finally Howie told me m he had bought us tickets to take a lunchtime cruise around the San Francisco Bay on the California Hornblower. That was a nice surprise. Santa was there and went on the cruise as well. Howie had arranged ahead of time for us to be in the Captain's deck while we went under the bridge, what a beautiful sight the Golden Gate Bridge is every time. And what a great job the Captain has cruising the bay everyday, that's got to be an interesting job.

It was a gorgeous day in December in San Francisco. Lunch was fantastic, there was live music on the cruise and it was decorated for Christmas too. A friend of ours is a manager with the Hornblower and arranged for a bottle of champagne delivered to us at lunch so that was special too, we didn't drink much though since we had a long drive back home. But it was a great day and we now have Holiday photos for our Christmas Cards.

Happy Holidays !

Holidays on the Horizon

Oh my gosh, it's really almost Thanksgiving Day? Then that would mean right around the corner is Christmas and Hanukkah and all the winter holidays, then 2009 !!! yipee a new year, a new President, and I hope a new start for our economy. Maybe we should turn off the TV before the holidays. Can the news get any worse? It seems to daily. I wonder how many new jobs President Obama could create with 25 to 50 billion dollars? He might have to figure that out.

In the meantime, we have the holidays to remind us that love, family (the truest love) and friends and sharing of our lives together, is after all what life is about. Maybe when you lose a lot you appreciate the time together so much more. I sure would like to see my dad one more time, my brother again, a few friends, my gramps too, but memories of them help remind me how special Holiday times are to be cherished.

There are some out in the world who on Thanksgiving have no one thinking of them, no one who cares or knows where they are, and no one who will think of planning their Christmas present no matter how small or big, wrapped up in a pretty bow. I think how easily the lives of anyone could turn into a different path, there... but for the grace of God go I.

Will we find less expensive presents this year - or better yet, make something personal, now that the economy is so tough? Maybe so, maybe something more meaningful.I hope more will give friends, family and loved ones their time, that is a precious gift and the only gift available for which there is no comparable or replacement.

Looking forward to the Holidays! Yipee, time to decorate for the season...
Have fun..

Grateful

Have you ever been so deeply grateful it's hard to express in words? I feel that way lately as my kids and dear friends know, just deeply grateful, blessed after so many hurdles in life. I am grateful for this moment in my life.

It reminds me of the time when I first met my mother. Well, not when I 'first' met her, I have no recollection of being a baby or little child. So I think of the time when I first met my mother, I was in my 20s and it was one of the most special times in my life. I think of her perspective of what it must have been like to get that call from me and how hard that might have been. I can remember every detail of that call and the years of searching it took to get that phone number. For years every person I saw with a young daughter, I imagined "what must that be like," and I wondered what its like to be loved by a mom, and to have that girl chat. I think It must have taken so much courage for her to agree to see me, and the moment we met. How ridiculously silly I was, and how surprised I was we didn't look very much alike. But the gratefulness of what it was like, in my 20s to "meet my mom," and over the years to have that question answered, "who" she was and what about her impacted my beliefs and thoughts. There are simply no words to describe what it means to be flat-out on-my-knees grateful to her, for opening up her life and humbled I know her, and we've developed a relationship over the years for which I know I am so lucky.

I am just as grateful my dad married the dearest person ever (BJ) and we got connected before he died. BJ is amazing who is also the wisest person I know. Oh man, I am thankful and humbled at being blessed by her. Daddy loved her like crazy and loved her kids too so I feel thankful he got to experience that in his life. I wish Dad could have seen my brother one more time before dad died, its hard having a brother missing in the world out there for more than 20 years now you ache and wonder what happened to them. I miss him and long to see him again, I'd love to tell him all the things I think of on his birthday and all the times I wonder of him and hope he found his way in this world and is safe and happy. These losses have made me cherish every relationship I've ever had or known, loss teaches gratefulness in a way nothing else can.

I am here with a warm fire glowing Howie made for me before he went to the show tonight and I couldn't feel more cared for, as i read a lovely message from my dear childhood friend. Oh I've known her since we were little kids, less than 10 years old I think and we were sharing today how did we get so lucky to have stayed friends for so many years. We both wanted to keep the love through years of raising kids and growing. And then I got a lovely call this week from my close friend who was there the day my little girl was born, who's been with me through every happy and every tough day since. She is what a sister would be to others, she is to me.

Of course my kids are good kind decent loving caring people who showed me the special bond between a mother and child from the mother's point of view, who helped me understand my own mother more because of their love and lives. I remember the pregnant days although long ago of how exciting it was and then to grow together and shape their lives through love and passion which I have for just about everything they do. And, I'm still that way. They are cool people!!

Can I be grateful for our boys, Mo and Bro ? I am, they're fun. Just plain fun. They are like little brothers who wrestle and play and are fun to care for, and bathing! Oh wow, that's an experience. Tahoe, the new friends, people, places, job and the feeling of finally settling in here, ok, after 2 years but it feels peaceful.

As so many things collapse around us, or we fear they will in these times, I am reminded how of deep and meaningful my sense of being grateful for all types of life and love and family are, whatever those terms mean to different families. For me, my family didn't come in the traditional form (does that exist?) but I've had so many opportunities to appreciate the value of love, in its many forms. Love for those who aren't here anymore, for those who are, for loved ones missing or you've lost touch with... whatever shape or form love is still the greatest gift we can give and be grateful for getting, it carries us through these times and beyond.

Much love...

Iraq, San Diego...

Back from San Diego where I spent time with family for a few days just hangin out with the kids while Howie is in Iraq. I ache for all the families who have people in Iraq and elsewhere, how difficult it must be waiting to hear from loved ones and not knowing if they are ok.

Howie told me he feels almost 'guilty' for being able to come home when the troops have to stay, he says there is a lot to talk about and a lot to share. I have missed him more than I thought I would. It's harder to be apart than we both thought, be all that does is make me realize the emotional as well as the physical sacrifices families of soldiers go through.

It was nice to get away and spend time in San Diego, the weather is always so beautiful there. It was fun to go shopping with Kristin and pick up similar wallets. Now, every time I pull out my wallet I'll be thinking of sweet Kris. And it was fun too at Dustin's place, my when they are all grown up it can be surprising but Dustin's life seems just like I thought it would be. I'm so grateful I'll be able to spend more time in San Diego now, it's so good to hang out.

I'm counting down the time for Howie to return... and I'll be glad it's over when he lands back home. I pray for the troops to all return safe and sound.

He's off...

Howie, Scott and Graham are on their way to Iraq. Before he left, Howie received letters from law enforcement and local elected officials to carry with him and deliver to the troops. A classroom of kids also wrote letters to the troops. It's going to be very special time to deliver coffee, letters, and a few other trinkets to the troops but mostly for them to know we all care deeply about them and wish each one of them would come home soon and safe. At the airport, a young man in full military dress was saying goodbye to his parents and friends. Howie and I couldn't help but feel very moved by the scene, just thinking of the deep gratitude for these young people willing to volunteer to go and fight for our country, our country called them and they said "yes." It's very humbling. Howie has said frequently in the last few weeks he feels awkward that he's going over to Iraq to "just make them laugh," while the troops are risking everything because he's 'just a comic' recognizing the sacrafice of the troops is so great. There is just so much going on in the world and with all the talk of the war I imagine seeing some of it first hand makes a big impact on his life.

Brother for Mo!

Brody's here ! Yayayay. Dustin and Juels came up and brought Mo's new little brother (well, not so little now), Brody. Dustin is so proud of Brody, champion lineage and special markings (I guess that's what cost $1,000 bucks for a dog?). Seriously, he is beautiful and Dustin is right, such a sweet dog. He 'lumbers' around. He can't jump like Mo which we're hoping will be a good influence on our flying dog. Mo has become such an expert escape artist, even jumping easily over the 6' fence we had installed which was needless-to-say a bit surprising. Dustin showed us that Brody is such a big lazy pup he won't even jump in the car, he waits for a boost. Judging from the size of Brody's paws, he's going to need to learn how to get in the car by himself. 

Mo and Brody battled it out for a few minutes and then played played and played. Right now Brody is running through the sprinklers while Mo is eating all the bones. Dustin and Juels took good care of Brody and now both Brody and Mo will be good playmates for each other. We took them out on the lake (see all the photos!) and Brody loves to swim! I hope he can teach Mo that. We enjoyed the visit, a little hike, a photo-op, dog playing, but it went all too fast. Thanks kiddo, and we'll post lots of photos of course, you know Howie you'll have more photos of Brody than ever before now.  

I tried to email all the photos and it didn't work, so you can download them from the link to the photo page  I sent you. Much love and miss you already. ! 

Awe shucks...

Oh gosh, my friend Kathy in Grand Junction, CO let me know this posting was rambling, and you know what? She was right. But, that's what I get for hot-penning my frustrations over the crazy computer issues later. So thanks from our friends in Grand Junction. Bottom line, I just wanted to first say the right kind of thanks to Howie for just being more than a sahhhweet guy -- on Saturday , we took a long drive down to Reno to pick up Howie's computer from Apple, ughhhhh more on that in a minute. But along the way, we toured our pretty lake and Howie had a few surprises for me, like a special lunch, a little card and all.  During our little afternoon trip we ended up talking about everything from the economy, war, elections, comedy of course, jobs, retirement (can we be thinking of that already?) and life in general. Of course, MO came with us, we just love our little pup, he didn't like waiting in the car while we picked up that computer. Oh that, About $4,000 later.... Howie's computer crashed back in June , maybe late May, I don't remember and I tell you , from what we've been through it makes you not want to deal with technology anymore. Warning: back up all your files. But, the good news is the new computer is so fast it's a whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiizzzz. : ) seriously lightening fast, kinda fun using it.

The drive and picnic and all his kind treats were good reminders to take a breather in life, I personally needed it. it was good. The lake is a calming influence. Now, Back to the heat, back to reality, more software to upload. At least it goes oh so quickly. Mac-Daddy is back in da-house... that's good 'nuf for now.

August hot

Is it hot everywhere or just here? And we're supposed to be cooler at the top of the mountain, but it's just hot this August. Everyone seems to stop in where air conditioning is being used. I worried about Mo being out in the heat until I walked into his room that Howie set up - Mo has a doggy door from the yard into this huge room off the back of the house, it's about 15 x 20 or something. Howie set up the fans to blow continuously up high so when I walked in there at about 3, it was cool! Cooler than the house, I decided Mo had it pretty

 good. His big doggy bed and toys and the yard and all. Mo's girlfriend Simone moved away and Mo got really sad we think after that. I think they really liked each other almost like they smiled when they saw each other, but she's gone now : (. Mo's other friend, Arnold is now locked up in his yard on a long tether. We went for a walk to visit Arnold but, he can't get loose anymore they said. We recently took some photos of them playing together when Arnold escaped his place. They fight over this same stick often and it's so cute. 

Now that Arnold's folks have secured Arnold really well and they won't let him out anymore, we decided Mo needs a playmate and luckily Dustin new place wasn't taking well to the new dog. So they are bring him up for Mo! Yay... Brody is another lab, blonde and cute. Mo can be the big-brother to Brody. That should be fun for them both. I probably could have put all this on Mo's blog, but Howie likes to write on that, he gets such a kick out of wondering what Mo is thinkin'.  So, we're preparing for Brody to come up soon. And bringing Dusters with him too, my heart is singing .... looking forward to that. I hope he can bring Brody soon.

July Summer

I can't wait for winter already again - ok, maybe I can wait a little but, winter is my favorite time, except for all the shoveling and getting stuck in the snow. It's already been a busy summer, there's so much to do it seems. Howie and I have such different schedules, it's the weekends where we catch up most. His mom was here for a week taking break from her beautiful summer home to come up and spend time with the Howster, I think she had a good time hangin' out with him. Mom's are always mom's though aren't they - I am, always worried about something with our kids are they making the best decisions and all of that.  We are moving into August now, yuck. I could skip that month just about anywhere except San Diego. The kids are so busy there working super long hours and sweat-pea is gearing up for another tough college semester but - you go-girlfriend, you'll do fine. : )

I was so bummed to hear about that Professor who died the other day, the one who gave "the last lecture." He was quoted as saying he was happy to be living and not focused on dying and that he was "sewing nets" to help "catch the fall" of his family that will happen when he's gone. He talked about "brick walls" and that while we all see and experience them, that brick walls are not there to stop us from doing anything but rather are there to see how bad we want it.  I heard that and thought of all the tough things I have been through, and so too my folks and my grandparents and while all different, it was true what the Professor said, that sometimes the brick walls  were there to test our interest. I think so many people wanted that Professor to beat the odds and make it, it's just sad that such a great gifted speaker and a man with so many life-lessons, couldn't stay a little longer. 

Heading into hot August, stay cool guys : ) and climb over, under, around or through any brick walls you might encounter, or, if you really would rather, sit down and read a good book like the one the professor wrote. 

June in Tahoe!

Beauty can be defined by me nowadays as June in Lake Tahoe. Wow. The water is 3 shades of blue, from light (almost green) blue to a little darker and then the crystal clear blue waters. Driving to work or around town everyday there is a place in the road that runs very close to the water, and there... almost catching your breath as you drive along the shore are the 3 shades of blue, boats in the water and the mountains on the water's horizon. It's really spectacular and wonderful. The water is necessary for my soul for sure, it reminds me of 'home' in San Diego and oh how we loved the ocean. Watching the gorgeous kiddos surf the waves and enjoying the water's beauty in another way. Here in Tahoe when the wind stirs the lake to show it's own little ruffled waves, one can almost see the surf again. It's just beautiful here. We've got the hiking, biking, skiing, boating, mountains, hillsides, cabins and mansions all in view. I can see my Mark Twain wrote about the beauty here. It's helpful to the soul to get away from the gas prices and crisis of life to rest in the water's comfort. And to have a companion who is caring along with it, one can easily feel humbled by life's ability to turn and renew itself if we hang on. Howie and I were lucky enough to spend a fabulous weekend dressing up in 'old-days' clothes for the Queen's 25th Big Birthday out on the lake, then enjoying the dinner party at night in her new glory (and revel in what a make over in the millions can do ! "old fashioned" and modern at the same time). We gushed over each other later saying how blessed we are to be there for each other and enjoy the mountains and lake's refreshing spirit all together. Not to say there are not some tough things going on, with everyone. Who isn't struggling today? Ok, maybe the celebrities or those with millions in the bank, but that's a rare few. the rest of us are all in this together. Can someone please invent a no-gas-needed transportation device? ugh. But... back to the beauty where we can relax and appreciate the peace of a flower's reach for the sun... ahh... fresh air, spring flowers, come up to the lake you guys! Mama Joan is on her way for a visit, then it'll be your turn. Many hugs.

Looking forward

May has been the toughest month every year now for 10 years. Memories of dad and so much other loss in May too. This year just adds more to the month of May. But, in fact it's fairly easy to put it all in perspective as we hear news about the state of life, pretty much everywhere, the earthquake in China and the cyclone in Burma its unbelievable how much they are suffering. Lately I'm beginning to wonder though where, if any, is the good news. 

Thankfully, there is always hope in looking forward as I learned from Grampa. He was the ultimate positive thinker and funny man, I miss him too and his silly silly songs. I thought of that as we planted flowers and filled up the yard with some color this weekend. I thought of My 'pops' singing his purple people eater songs just to make us laugh and how he did that a lot a saying, "just keep moving and looking forward." And how funny Grampa was with his jokes. He was such a crack up and even when times were very hard. So, in spite of the losses there is always a chance to improve tomorrow by looking forward so here's to Gramp's, Dad and June flowers!

Spring

It's May already? May, spring, and time for renewal and fresh spring flowers at a time when I don't recall ever hearing so many stressful things in the news. For the past 10 years May is always a very hard time for me remembering Dad, but it's worse now and nerve racking for everyone to turn on the news hearing the predictions about the economy, election, prices of food and gas it's worrying and especially for the young people trying to make it as well as the very poor. I sure hope someone steps up to do something to make significant impact on the issues. Spring is important this time I will plant some flowers and pray things get better soon. In the meantime, as we all try and help each other and share our burdens to lesson the tough times  and thank you friends for doing just that over the years, let's soak in those spring sun rays after a snowy winter.  I must admit actually comedy has helped, when I'm worried about all the things going on and get to a show, it feels good to laugh heartily. 

Wishing you Spring blessings and good news.

Road Trip Vacation 2008

Vacation this time was "road trip," and I'm not kidding. We spent 5 days in the car and drove forever. It reminded me of when we all did stuff like that in our 20s. So, here's a bunch of photos from our road trip. It's easier than e-mailing it to you guys ! Cool huh?

Here's a few of Mo playing around, you can see more of Mo on his own Blog where he writes about living with us : ) he was very good on the trip. He didn't really like the water though.

Mo has his own wrestling match with the towel... isn't he the cutest pup ever?? YES !

Out for a little walk in the morning. I'm glad we found this place to say, we stumbled across this wonderful little place in Malibu. The night before, Howie drove along the coast looking for just the 'right place' and this one was great.

The 'porch' was right on the sand, the bed was so cushy and the sunrise in the morning over the ocean, cuddling with your loved ones, listening to the waves crashing was a great way to start the the road trip.

Sunrise in Malibu. Everyone should experience this beauty.
We headed to LA to talk with some folks about our new ideas for some upcoming events we're planning and enjoy lunch at Fred Siegel, a very nice treat from some special people. Then to San Diego to spend the afternoon visiting with the kids and letting Howie entertain them and their dates. Then to Arizona, we didn't arrive until 3 am, but since Howie was driving and I was sleeping... it was good. Howie's mom is into the "red hat club," it is sooooo too cute. We spent Howie's Birthday there and I went shopping so Mom and Son could have some time alone, it's always good for parents to have alone time no matter what the age. I still like it : ) It would have been nice to spend more time but we had a lot of ground to cover over the next few days.



Heading to Grand Canyon, we detoured through Sedona Arizona. Pretty, but, very very crowded. Too crowded and for what reason? Shops in the middle of the desert. But the landscape is one-of-a-kind.


From the car's open roof top I took this photo.

So Howie insisted on showing me the meteor crater and I was glad he did. It's unbelievable that people didn't originally believe it was from a meteor, or something external crashing into the earth. It took a lot of years to convince people. The site remains in one family who has cared for it for nearly 100 years.

On the observation deck,


A few various photos


We went way way out of the way to take Route 66 after the Grand Canyon toward California, but I'm glad we did, it was very nostalgic to stumble across little cafe's and towns. We talked to people who lived in these places and met some interesting characters.

This funny photo is really of Mo "attacking" a big buffalo statue. He went crazy , barking and trying to 'stand up,' to the buffalo. It was funny to watch. The statue was outside a little cafe on Route 66.
On Route 66


We seriously saw this little trailer on a side road in a tiny town on Route 66, we were turning around by going down the street and saw this parked there and laughed, we just had to take the photo. What's funny about the photo? If you can see it, the sign reads "Gourmet Coffee."

A cute little cafe and shop

We had lunch at this B & B on 395


GRAND CANYON - if you have not been, you must go. I first saw this majestic place a few years ago while returning home from visiting Krissy-poo when she lived in Colorado for a short while, when I first saw it I was stunned. It was like nothing I'd ever seen in spite of all the pictures. When we worked this stop into the Road Trip I knew Howie would love it. Here's a group of photos. Here we are... it's easy to get people to take your photo because everyone asks everyone else... to see a larger version, click on the photo.




I put Howie on a helicopter ride over the grand canyon for his birthday present, he took like 40 photos. I did the helicopter ride a few years ago, it's breathtaking.

Yes, Howie really is out there on this unprotected ledge on this photo. I asked him not to do it, I even told him if anything happens to him his mother would kill me, but he was careful even though the word "careful" and standing on a ledge that drops 500 feet to the canyon floor don't go hand in hand, but it worked out.

Yeah, the photo below is me climbing back up ... sure...
actually I took a similar photo of Howie. We were walking by a trail and I could see what a cool photo it would be, I'm standing on a ledge a very safe ledge, it's does not drop off into the canyon and with the camera at rock level, it turned out like this. Funny huh? Almost like a fake backdrop.

Waxing thoughtful

I am surprised life in Tahoe and with Howie is settling into something pretty sweet. I think when you get to be that middle-age thing (yikes!) it's unusual to find a new relationship as easy and sweet as things have become. "Life with Howie" isn't the "easiest" life, its very busy, can be hectic, he puts a tremendous amount of effort and energy into his line of work, as I've seen they all do. But, at home when all our work is done, we are so similarly comfy. For me, I've never laughed so much in my life, yes... the guy is funny funny at home. I can only imagine what he put his teachers through! We mostly love cuddling with our boy Mo, he's been so much fun, Howie wants to adopt a buddy for Mo so he has a playmate. Life is very homey, and its a such a surprise and blessing. By the time you're our age, we've had plenty of relationships and 'stuff' in life to learn from and that's the key. Did we learn from other people in our life? I was talking to Howie about that the other day and we both agreed "this with us" is working only because other people in our lives helped shape us for who we are now and basically we should be grateful for some of the more painful experiences because you can only really learn from pain, people don't change much without a few knocks on the head, "hello... wake up... time to make a few corrections." Thankfully we continue to grow and change in life, it sure would be a horrible world if we stayed the same. I am mostly grateful to my friends, particularly who've been life-long and the kind who we share everything. I'm not convinced guys have those kind of friends and that's too bad. Through my friends we've worked out issues, tramas, raising kids and our love of God. Even the guys who've broken my heart have taught me a lot but for now, I'll just continue down this path of enjoying Tahoe and Howie and this interesting journey as we grow and learn from each other.

San Francisco Weekend!

What is happiness? We chatted out loud the entire 4 hour trip to San Francisco… we talked about all the people driving back and forth to work, who among them commuted for hours everyday (I used to commute for more than an hour each way everyday). As we are all in the pursuit of happiness, trying to find the right person, right house, job, car, friends, which are part of life, the pursuit that is, but in pursuing we can lose ourselves sometimes or lose what we really meant to find in the first place.

We took an impromptu trip to San Fran Friday to spend a short get-away and take in the City – we often do impromptu things because Howie is like that, just pick up and go, a need to be flexible! On the way, we got into that discussion of happiness. We have the best conversations thinking about people and life’s discoveries and the ultimate journey of life… the discovery of love and happiness. After we arrived in SF, Howie finagled his way into a fabulous room at the Marriott and then sat down and said “I don’t know about what is happiness, but I know wherever we are, as long as we’re together I feel at home,” which was probably the most beautiful thing ever said to me.

We went off and had some great sushi, expensive but very very good. We made it back to the hotel to change for Judy’s show. Howie’s friend Judy was performing a one-woman show in SF. It was extremely moving, funny too, yes, but very touching. Just when you almost cried , she made you laugh. Afterward we walked all around downtown and we stumbled upon North Beach, I have never been there before, that I know of. We giggled like two silly kids going into all the shops, and we had fun in the shops displaying adult toys asking ourselves you do what with this? It was fun, then we had the great fortune of finding a late night noisy Italian restaurant with tables outside where we drank coffee and enjoyed the most delicious tiramisu ever! Back to the hotel very late. Saturday was a great fun exploring the city, went to a movie premier he has to review and enjoyed just a wonderful day

Pursuing happiness and love… and enjoying what we found. The similarities and the differences. We talk about childhoods, politics, trying to understand this economy, our lovely MO, friends, failings and successes , “the why” we are the way we are, and what we can learn from others.

San Francisco turned out to be a great time but we’re glad we’re home; catching up on some work in the pursuit of jobs ! : ) Getting ready for vacation to visit, the kids, Howie’s mom, and the Grand Canyon, that will be fun…. Looking forward to seeing you guys.

what a weekend

This was one of those really good beautiful weekends in Tahoe. Howie wanted to thank me for the party by taking me to dinner -- I know I know -- Not being what you'd call a romantic, it was a surprise, but he actually pulled it off and made it a very nice thank you. We went to one of those great places with lots of glass windows and shared steak and macadamia nut crushed sea bass (very yummy). Coupled with a few glass of wine and a good conversation it was actually really nice. Most times I'd rather go home to the nice cozy fireplace than off to the club but that's the way it is on the weekends.

We also went to the Oscar party event where he had a blast and people raised money for arts project. It was decorated so beautifully, I wish everyone could have seen it they did such a great job. They had some young people on the "red carpet" acting like paparazzi taking fake photos of everyone as they arrived, it was really cute. The room was full of movie decorations and the giant screen to make everyone feel like a big event.. They served a sit-down elegant dinner and had a fun auction. It was good to wear a new dress but in a blizzard it was really too cold. I wish more they could have had the room packed to raise more money and to appreciate all their efforts to keep the arts in schools. It was a really nice event.

For the first time in awhile I did the whole 'girl thing' this weekend too from hair, nails, massage (yay) spending the day doing all those things, its good to take a little time for oneself. It was peaceful. In doing that I thought about how much I miss some of my friends in San Diego and Kristin. Girls know how to be good friends and share every little thing, I don't know if guys in general have the closeness with their friends the ways my girlfriends and I have; it's always been more of a family. Distance isn't supposed to matter, but it kind of does. I miss being able to visit and going to the movies or meeting up at our favorite coffee house. I think I am getting a wee little tired of the snow - you were right, it does kind of wear you out with all the ice and mud. It is so beautiful though.

Monday night we went out and caught the new Beatles tribute show; it's just been a busy weekend and week. But girls come on now, it's your turn to come to Tahoe and play in the snow and I'll head back to san diego asap. And thanks, yes love the photos and your new journals too, makes me homesick.

Howie's big party

What a fun community party we had and it turned out to be great, so many friends and a chance to remind people to continue to donate to the fire survivors who still have a large need for all they lost. Howie's party to celebrate he finally got the new DVD finished (took all summer) was a lot of fun.

The band is soooo good, we love Jesse's band and they seemed to enjoy playing. We had over 200 people on the boat, good food, great music, good dancing and all that jazz.
It was really one of the easiest parties I ever put together because it was on the boat - no decorating required. Howie was very humbled by the experience, I could see he was grateful for everyone's support. It was a weird crazy experience with the comic last week who being interviewed by Howie said something on the air that upset someone. The comic felt really bad about it and has called or emailed just about everyday but thankfully the situation resolved itself fairly well. Howie's party then turned out to have a good vibe and all. We raised a little bit of funds for the survivors and are thankful to those who contributed. It's quite a great need they still have. But, the good news is that may are rebuilding now.

This winter is turning out to be a cold cold one here. The freezing weather is tough, but the snow is pretty. We're supposed to get more snow so that'll be interesting, I'm kind of getting to a limit.

Coming to the end of February soon, spring is not too far off I think... I can't wait for the flowers. Hope you are stopping to smell the flowers where you are, soak in the sun and appreciate whatever life brings you today. I wish I could have another minute with my dad, or go back to being mom of young kids (the most fun).. but life does chase the sun and for now, I'm learning a lot of being ok with me and enjoying this place and this time.

Blessings...

A visit back to San Diego

I took a quick trip back to San Diego recently and when leaving the "lake" and the 8 to 10 feet of snow at our house, digging out of the icy driveway, sloshing through the streets to arrive at the airport .. landed in San Diego with 60 degree weather, blowing palm trees and my first thought was... "ahhhhhh, yes." I rented a car, drove straight to my house and then to see friends and the lunched with my girl and chatted up the afternoon. I was in San Diego for a conference, but it was beautiful to be "home?" or 'back," not sure which it felt like. Howie and I played phone tag for the next few days and we were surprised how much we missed each other and our routine things. Back "home" in Tahoe and feeling 'snowed in' (completely) with a fire burning the town so wonderfully beautiful covered in snow... I wish I could split myself in two and have a part in San Diego and a part in Tahoe - two of the arguably most beautiful places ever.

It was interesting to compare the two places in terms of commerce. The hustle and bustle of the 'big city' and jobs and people working -- the slow-down in the economy wasn't as noticeable as it is at the lake.

Howie was just a perfect doll while gone and he let me know how much he missed us being together, I missed him too. Glad to be back .... home in Tahoe with Howie, the snow and the fire.

What a winter it's been

Wow, I thought 'snowed in' meant a few feet, but we've been digging out now for quite some time; Howie and I digging and digging and ... let's just say it's a lot of snow - about 10ft on either side of the driveway now and it's a lot of work. Back breaking too. But, we work together fairly well. It's taking me some time to learn how to drive in the deep snow though. It's so nice to have a partner to help out in these things. Howie stopped off at the store late at night, freezing blizzard just to make sure we had some hot cocoa and cream for my aching back. Living together has been so easy for more than a year and in spite of the complications of life, it's easy at home. He's a doll about starting fires and keeping things toasty. All the things I do are a good balance I think. We're working on the DVD party that should be fun. In the meantime, I'll post some amazing photos when we get them back

An Unexpected Evening

So what to do when you get an unexpected evening at home? Oh, we get to enjoy being together like others do. I have forgotten what it's like to just be at home, after work, cookin' dinner and all because Howie has to go to the club every night except Mondays and so often on Mondays we are just wiped out tired. So it was fun to have a night unexpected... we watched old movies, had a roaring fire, did lots of couple stuff and he kept saying how sweet and close and comfy it all was, And is. I feel that too. Between good old fashioned pasta to warm the tummy and just 'being' ... it's hard to get any better.... !

can you say "Snow Storm?"

It was a great, fun, wild weekend. Snow storm for sure. The pictures say it all. We enjoyed staying in, fire, cozy and well, waiting for the snow plows to come by. We think we ended up with about 5 feet, maybe 6 by the end of the weekend. It's beautiful to look at too.

Fun Cruise

A murder mystery crusie! More pix to come mom, but here's one we took on the last roll.
Howie, his mom and I went on the cruise around the lake while trying to solve the mystery of what happened to the rich socialite. Howie "played" Ozzie and in the photo we are posing with cast members Nada Klue and Biff, the secret detective. It was a really fun time, I'll post more photos when I get them back.

Another "New" Year... 2008

2008, wow. I remember as a kid thinking the year "2000" would never come and here we are in 2008. I like the whole new year celebration thing, a time for reflection and looking ahead. 2007 was a year of a lot of new things and that brings it's own interesting events; a lot of change can be stressful. It's nice this year to look back on some of the other relationships I've been in and be thankful for the sweetness of Howie. We've grown together this year, which is a nice treat. It's like we're very good buddies with the added benefits. All relationships have positives and irritations but in balance, it's pretty good. I'm therefore grateful for this time together.

Thanks friends/fam for sharing together and teaching me about this new way to journal so we can share stories. You all know I journal everyday and you were right, this was/and is/ a good way to share stuff. I like reading your journals and seeing the pictures and stories too this way. As I've told you though, the one thing is how funny it is to see a few people read this every single day. How strange is it to think people are spending one ounce of their precious life to frequently read about something or someone unrelated to their own life. It's just not normal to need it as they do; to have moved beyond curious to obsessive. There are 1000s and 1000s of family blogs/journals out there used to stay touch. I feel bad for those needing this like a coke-fix, but since it's just a few and since we all like sharing this way and it's not very bothersome (their reading it), we can keep it going. I do hope they can find real life outside of voyeuristically reading about ours, especially since it's nothing special. Just life. I don't think there's anyone I'd be interested in spending a minute of time reading about who isn't my family or dear friend.

Maybe this year, I hope for more goodness for everyone. So very many (!!!) have had a tough year. And I know what a year it's been for my loved ones too. I still miss Dad tons, especially at the holidays. My heart breaks for those who have lost loved ones this year, I know how deeply difficult and long-lasting that pain is. I hope everyone shows more love, kindness and forgives more, gives more.

Just think, in 2008, a new president will be elected this year (finally and let's just hope we are a country that can move beyond Bush, Clinton, Bush, Clinton... isn't there any other people who can lead? ) And hopefully, the war will end soon. Let's turn our attention to our own country in 2008... VOTE

Much love, and I hope at the end of 2008, you can say it was a 'happy' one.

What a Holiday

It was a delightful Christmas. Howie's Mom was really sweet, and so was Howie. The kids seemed to have a good time. Howie gifted me with a beautiful necklace and other private nice things; I think he liked his presents too. He was silly and goofy with my special funny daughter and she is such a silly girl too; so fun to see her 'get' that guy. She's so grown up now enjoying her mid-20s. Big Brother rocked down the ski slopes. We all enjoyed the lovely holiday dinner (okay, it was a lot to make though) but so fun to have us all together. After dinner we posed for a photo of me and the kids with Howie.

I think we're simply relaxing these days. Howie's Mom thinks we're on the same page and I guess that's a good way to put it. Holidays enjoying being with people who care about each other, is there anything else? Howie recently said to me, "does anything else really matter?" and I was reminded of all the people who in their last days or moments only care of one thing: another moment to say "I love you." How's right, it's all that matters. Love doesn't mean there is no pain or stress, but it does mean there is something worth hanging on to. Happy Holidays and Happy New Year. May this new year be better for the economy, bring the troops home, and bring more goodness to all of us.

Christmas in Tahoe!

Cool! Another snowy Christmas here in Lake Tahoe. The kids are here, Howie's mom is here and it's all good. Kids are having a great time skiing and shopping and enjoying all the snow. It's wild and fun. Howie's mom and I have some good chats and get along well, apparently that's not so common. She told Howie we are good together and she said a lot of other really nice things to him about us. Whew... We are watching old movies together tonight (Christmas Eve) a fire is burning, (Howie build it for us), and it's all so warm and cozy... so nice !
Merry Christmas ...!

What is Love?

What is love? We don't love everyone the same, some are friends, there is family and lovers and acquaintances and those we don't personally know, but love because we love the human race.

But, in searching for love, I wonder if we know what it is or can define it. This past week Howie and I have both been extremely sick. There were a few days when I felt delirious, spacy for sure. Coughing and hacking... and I could not give an ounce of anything to myself let alone Howie. I was barely making it sometimes. When I'm sick, it's a time when I feel like just crawling up on the bed and sleeping.

And yet, I still wanted to help Howie feel better and he tried to help me even though we were both so weak. So, is that when we know what love is? When we pull from somewhere within and give that quarter ounce more? Maybe it is, I think so. I am especially grateful for Howie's help this week, it's nice to know there is love ...

Tahoe Birthday!

What a nice birthdy I had in Tahoe again. Howie was a doll and is more like that evey day. We had a really nice day. We drove around the lake and stopped at lots of little shops and visited with people; shop owners and people always recognize his voice from the radio and they get a kick out of meeting him. We brought Mo and he enjoyed the day out and about so much. We visited dog-friendly places and took him for walks and then stopped for lunch on the north shore, whichh was romantic.

He is opening himself up to much love and peace and seems to be enjoying this romantic side a lot. He kept making a big deal of his 'surprise' so when we got home in the afternoon we got dressed up and went to a small intimate romantic resturant on the east side of the lake.

He wanted to make the day very nice and he did - thanks hon!

Thanksgiving 07

Thanksgiving in Tahoe - the big bird got cooked. oh I did the whole 9 yards thing - from turkey to pie. Howie lloved it all he said. Last year we did the buffet and I cooked for Christmas. This year it was nice to do the cooking at home except, it is a lot of work. We have lots of leftovers which Howie insisted on having for turkey sandwiches. I think he'll be having those all week.

But, It was most nice to take some time in the day and reflect on the year. There's been a lot of adventure this past year. I look forward to this next year. It was really great to chat with BJ who I adore, and the kids of course. It was nice to hear what everyone is doing. The kids will be up at christmas (along with Howie's mom) and I'm looking forward to that time for sure.

THANKFUL
I'm thankful for more love...
For Howie who is very kind and caring to me. How he looks at me with his sweet eyes and enjoys doing silly little things for me. How much he likes to my cooking - that's fun. His mom asked me to make sure he eats for veggies so I do put alot of them and eats 'em even if he doesn't know they are there.
For my kids of course who are really caring and loving people. They are good human beings, who care about how they impact the world. True gifts. I'm thankful for being close to BJ, who has taught me so much about real love.
Thankful for the time in Tahoe, it's been an adventure - anything is possible.
For all those who are kind and loving in the world and show others how to be.
Friends- thanks you guys. And I like your emails about the journal, and your too so we can stay in touch. It's cool huh?
For so much...

November 2007 !I love L.A.!

We spent Veteran's Day weekend in Los Angeles celebrating one year since I moved to Tahoe. It was nice being there when the streets and freeways we not as crowded as normal.

We played tourists while stopping in to see friends. We ate with some of his friends at a small little Italian resturant in West Hollywood. We drove down every crazy little side street until we found the perfect spot for a photo of the Hollywood sign. We got a local gardner to take the picture. We couldn't get very close to it though.

We stopped in a small little shops, the famous hot dog stands and drove through Bel Air and almost witnessed an accident at the corner of Beverly Drive in Beverly Hills when we saw a pack of wolves a/k/a paparrazi chasing a car from going where she wanted.

We went to the Hollywood comedy club and stayed up chatting. I tried to stay up and awake, but it was really cold even though it was fun talking, I didn't make it as late as Howie did, but he surprised me by getting us a room at a nice hotel and put us on the top floor. COOL. It was a fun trip and reminded me how much I love big cities and Los Angeles too. And it was prettier than I remember...


Back home in Tahoe it was SNOWING ! :) look at Mo and the house and the snow, cool photos huh?

More love more love

I was listening to a motivational speaker today talk about the whole concept of more love and more balance in our lives. Stop listening or giving any energy to negativity and those who have it. To balance our lives with the love and kindness we all deserve. More love more love more love. I hope I give enough love to everyone I meet and to myself too. We all could use more love.

Visit this !

Have you heard about "Dawn's Songs" ? Visit her myspace page at
http://www.myspace.com/dawnsongs

She lost her battle with cancer and you can hear the songs she recorded just before she "moved to heaven" as her family says. They are asking for people to visit Dawn's page and sign up and help spread the word about her music.

When you are faced with having a "set amount" of time left on earth, what would you do?

I believe we should live as if this really could be our last day. Where would you spend your energies? What would you focus on? Who would you call? What would you say. "Dawn" is a good reminder.

More love, less hate... always

More love, less hate

Halloween 07

Herrrrrre's Howie (Halloween 2007!)

He's posing here with Comedienne Carrie Snow. She and I helped him "transform" for the evening.
But, isn't this just all the proof we needed that he wasn't sure of his identity? In fact, he looks at little too happy with the outfit me thinks. He was very very silly at the ball, although he did get a lot of phone numbers from men, not sure what that means (giggle). He whined about the nylons, the bra, the shoes, and got some blisters on his little toes. Got a little taste of the girl-life. Along with the hair and makeup to boot.

What a crazy boy, uhh, girl, uhh, whatever!


We did the same thing again a few nights later for the nightclubs so as promised, here's a few more pictures... it was fun, but I'm glad his wearing of that outfit is done, until gay week where I already expect he'll be in drag once again.

Fav Photos

October 11-15, 2007

BOSTON! We went to the Boston Comedy Festival – that was fun. Howie had time to perform and judge the contest and wow, so many good comics. The weather was great too.

Howie has lots of family back in Boston so we spent a lot of time visiting with them. It was nice to be around his family, they are a group of happy and loving people. His family is inviting and gracious and welcoming. This is a photo of his Auntie Ruthie (mom's sister) and her two kids Mike and Linda.


We had lots of meals, and sharing time. We drove all over Winthrop– now that is a beautiful town! Here is a photo looking at the town on Wintrop on the right; this view is from his aunt's place. It's like a magical little island a very short drive from Boston, but seems isolated and will always stay kind of innocent. Really a pretty place.


While in Boston, we were told we "must go" to Little Italy and we did. We ate at a fabulous little Italian place out of the way. And, since I love history so much, we had to stop by nd see the USS Constituion, Boston Harbor, where so much happened and Bunker Hill Monument. We decided to climb the 300 steps to the top of the Monument. Whew… made it.
We went to Salem, Mass too. We saw an interactive discussion on the Witch trials. We had a great time and promised ourselves to take more trips. We didn’t want to leave!!
Howie was a dear the whole trip. We had a great time touring Boston, by subway, car and walking. A great time, what a beautiful place.

August - September 2007

All summer we've been very busy getting settled together. We were invited on another dinner cruise, it has been redecorated and it's beautiful! (the photo is us outside the boat).
We also were out one night and snapped this photo - I love his hat!

And we were all dressed up during the Renaissance Faire, we went to the event, then to the sternwheeler races, man, there is a lot of things women had to wear back then.

July 2007

The 4th at the Lake is beautiful. Howie broadcast live with others and we hung out down there most of the afternoon. It was really nice. July was a good month in Tahoe. We were busy during the week, but not on weekends. Howie loves to sleep in and I just spoil him big-time; cooking lovely things to stay in bed and eat while he catches up on sleep. Summer is beautiful in Tahoe. We are enjoying living together too.

We've been taking Mo out on fun little trips -- long walks and picnics. Here he is climbing on some wood. We like to find places where he can run, and he runs so fast. He is hard to hold on his leash.

And on a boat ride out to Fanet Island, yeah, that place Howie likes so much... we found a cute little red bandana for Mo.

June 2007

Well, I officially moved in with Howie this month. I hadn’t been staying at my place at all hardly since I moved to Tahoe, but we finally decided I should stop paying rent on the place. Howie was really cute about it all, most of my personal things were at the house anyway, I hadn’t even stopped by my place hardly at all in two months so, it wasn’t much of a change really. We like the no-drama lifestyle : ) very peaceful and quiet.

We ae enjoying the summer, we went out boating several times. One night we went out late, brought steaks, champagne and strawberries and camped out all night - we visited Howie's favorite place Fanet Island - I've seen many pictures of Howie and lots of dates out there, at the tea house - he just loves that place. I thought I might as well join the crowd of photos he has and get a photo in the tea house.

Some friends were asking me why I don't mind "all the women" Howie has dated. I think it's good to meet a lot of people to help know what you like and don't like and all that. And he does have a lot of photos of him and friends and women and places he's been, which makes sense, the guy loves photos, no question about that.

May 2007

Spring in Tahoe - stunningly pretty. Here Howie is golfing and we took a quick photo when he was done. His family loves to golf, I have tried it but, well, the golfball and I don't agree on which direction it should go. The golfcourse is amazingly beautiful.


We also finally got that helicopter ride that was postponed from his birthday in April. WOW! What a rush. It was a quiet ride. Not as scary as I thought it would be. We were high over Tahoe, you could see all the lakes on tops of the mountains and many shades of blue and green of the lake.
I definately want to do that again. We had a blast.

April 2007

Happy Birthday Howie !The surprise event early April was pulled off without a hitch! Yeah!



I had planned the day to be one where he could just ‘play.’ He was on the air in the morning, so I planned a surprise with the radio station and pre-programmed me singing “Happy Birthday” Marilyn Monroe style… he thought it was a party commercial so he was very surprised. Then his friend dropped by with homemade pies and balloons and treats and decorated the radio station. (The was part of the plan to throw him off about the party). After radio, I gave him a bag where he had three envelopes and had to open them in order, setting the stage for “playtime.” 1st envelope, we went to go biking, I brought a picnic and off we went on a 20 mile ride. We stopped for wine, cheese, and treats, and he played with the little kid toys I brought (a model airplane too). Then after our ride, we went back and got ready for #2… he opened that envelope in the airport parking lot to find a mini-helicopter and we were going to go on a ride around the lake but, the copter was broken.. so we did that a few weeks later. Then, #3… dinner.

When we got to the restaurant, about 40 of his friends were there and the ‘surprise moment’ came off w/o a hitch! He never had a hint - even after all day when I was hoping to get him there on time, and with all the people who knew, not a hint! Love that!! I don't think he had a surprise party before so he was completely taken back. His mom was really helpful in planning it and keeping a secret. I had a local bake make him a cake shaped like a woman’s rear end… Howie likes that side of a woman (hee hee) so he dug his face into the cake – it was so cute. He had a great time! The baker wanted copies of the pictures too and enjoyed seeing how much Howie liked the unique cake.



Isn't this a funny/cute picture of his friends? They posed 'straight-faced' for the camera, perfectly funny!
Howie's dear friend Ging, the first person I really got to know in Tahoe. She is a real sweetheart.

Happy Birthday my love... yes, we definately feel the love these days.